Technically Love: The Evolution of Human-AI Romance Discourse on Reddit

AI companion communities on platforms such as Reddit are widely characterized as spaces where users discuss their relationships with AI bots. This study examines whether and how that characterization holds, guided by the Synthetic Resonance framework's claim that human-AI relationships can carry genuine relational meaning for the user. Multiple LLMs were employed to code 5,504 Reddit posts from eight AI companion communities for relationship focus, primary topic, and users' emotional valence. Although search terms were weighted toward relational and attachment language, only 45% of posts concerned the user's own relationship with their bot. Posts about users' own bots differed markedly from posts about bots in general in both topic and emotional expression, with 85% of general-bot posts containing no user emotion language compared to 33% of own-bot posts. Among the 970 posts that were relationally focused, companionship and romance each accounted for roughly 46% of discussion, sexual content for 8%, and emotional valence varied across these subtopics. The findings suggest that users engage with these relationships with AI bots as meaningful, and that the discourse about them is broad and emotionally complex.

AI companions provide socially engaging interaction through availability, personalization, memory, roleplay, and emotionally responsive language. For teens, these systems may support sensitive self-disclosure, identity exploration, and relationship rehearsal while shaping intimacy expectations, offline relationships, emotional wellbeing, and self-understanding. We analyzed 17,053 verified quotations from 3,930 teen-relevant Reddit posts using thematic analysis. We identified 53 topics across seven thematic groups. Users described AI companions as sources of comfort, recognition, identity exploration, and relationship rehearsal, but also reported problematic attachment, social substitution, emotional dependence, and disruption to academic and social life. Roleplay, memory, perceived reciprocity, unwanted romantic or sexual role drift, privacy concerns, platform changes, and service interruptions shaped users' boundaries and control. Awareness that the AI was artificial did not prevent guilt, obligation, grief, or distress. These findings show that companion-AI safety must address relationships over time through user-controlled memory, privacy, relational boundaries, and healthy disengagement.

As conversational AI systems are designed for repeated use, a central question is how a series of interactions becomes a relationship. We present a longitudinal multimodal study of a memory-augmented conversational agent (24 participants x 10 sessions), in which participants rated five relational constructs -- familiarity, self-disclosure, perceived memory, conversational quality, and enjoyment -- after each session. Two complementary dynamics emerge. First, conversational quality strongly shapes how enjoyable a session feels in the moment but does not carry forward across sessions, whereas perceived memory is relationally conditioned -- predicted by prior relational state rather than reflecting system capability alone -- and it shapes later enjoyment indirectly, via subsequent self-disclosure. Second, relationships are punctuated by discrete turning points -- crashes and surges -- that are partially traceable in multimodal behavior and open different intervention windows: surges are more behaviorally detectable in the moment, enjoyment surges persist more reliably than enjoyment crashes recover, and some crashes are better forecast from person-specific behavioral drift than detected after they have already occurred. Together, the findings suggest that longitudinal human-AI relationships are built through both slow accumulation and abrupt turning points.