When Should Memory Stay Silent: Measuring Memory-Use Boundaries in Memory-Augmented Conversational Agents
Authors: Lingxiang Xu, Jiaoyun Yang, Min Hu, Hongtu Chen, Ning An
Organizations: †Hefei University of Technology · ‡Harvard Medical School
Abstract
Long-term memory enables language model agents to support personalized interactions, but it remains unclear when available memories warrant integration into responses. Existing memory evaluations emphasize retrieval accuracy and downstream task utility, while overlooking whether retrieved sensitive memory content is warranted in the current turn. We introduce RBI-Eval, a controlled measurement study built around a probe set that compares model behavior with and without access to sensitive memory under identical benign prompts. We evaluate four base LLMs against a matched no-memory reference across four memory-access settings: full-context exposure and three retrieval systems. Our results reveal substantial behavioral divergence. With memory available, the separation score for sensitive-memory integration decreases by 8.9%--26.6% relative to the matched no-memory reference for GPT-5.4-mini, but by 51.1%--82.9% for Claude-Sonnet-4.6, DeepSeek-V4-Flash, and Qwen3.5-9B. Control experiments on DeepSeek and GPT-5.4-mini show this effect is specific to sensitive content, rather than general personalization. Retrieval systems reduce exposure but do not eliminate integration once sensitive memory reaches the generator. These findings suggest safe personalization requires memory-aware decisions at both retrieval and generation time.
As large language model (LLM) agents evolve into personalized companions, memory has emerged as a core capability. However, LLMs face a knowledge utilization problem: they may fail to act on relevant user preferences even when they are fully present in context. When an agent fails to tailor its response in a context where previously shared user preferences should matter, it is unclear whether the model failed to remember that information or remembered it but failed to use it. To isolate this breakdown, we introduce a decoupled evaluation paradigm that administers paired Know and Act tests to the same user preference. We conduct large-scale experiments across 16 systems and five memory architectures, evaluating 1,000 preferences embedded at three levels of expression strength. Our results show a large gap between Know and Act outcomes: agents often pass the recall test for a user preference but fail to reflect that same preference in the paired behavioral scenario. While memory architectures reduce this gap, utilization remains especially weak for health and therapy-related preferences, where failures to act carry the greatest real-world stakes.
Existing large language model (LLM) based memory systems apply universal, static policies that overlook a fundamental reality: the contexts that are worth storing in memory are different across users. This misalignment wastes limited memory budget on transient interactions while failing to preserve critical context for long horizon tasks. To address this gap, we investigate an underexplored question: can LLM based memory systems learn personalized memory policies? We introduce PerMemBench, the first benchmark for evaluating personalized memory systems, featuring multi year, multi domain interaction histories across diverse user personas. We further present the first empirical study of memory personalization, proposing session level storage gating, a lightweight framework that selectively bypasses memory operations for transient sessions. Our study confirms that personalization yields substantial retention gains under perfect gating, yet reveals that accurate gating remains an open and critical challenge.
Large Language Models (LLMs) lack persistent memory for long-term personalized conversations. Existing graph-based memory systems suffer from information dilution, absent provenance tracking, and uniform retrieval that ignores query context. We introduce MemORAI (Memory Organization and Retrieval via Adaptive Graph Intelligence), a framework that integrates three innovations: selective memory filtering with dual-layer compression to retain user-persona-relevant content, a provenance-enriched multi-relational graph tracking factual origins at the turn level, and query-adaptive subgraph retrieval with Dynamic Weighted PageRank that applies query-conditioned edge weighting. Evaluated on LOCOMO and LongMemEval benchmarks, MemORAI achieves state-of-the-art performance in memory retrieval and personalized response generation, demonstrating that selective storage, enriched representation, and adaptive retrieval are essential for coherent, personalized LLM agents.