Gradient-Aligned Pair Selection for Personalized Preference Optimization

Despite their sophisticated general-purpose capabilities, Large Language Models (LLMs) often fail to align with diverse individual preferences because standard post-training methods, like Reinforcement Learning with Human Feedback (RLHF), optimize for a single, global objective. While Group Relative Policy Optimization (GRPO) is a widely adopted on-policy reinforcement learning framework, its group-based normalization implicitly assumes that all samples are exchangeable, inheriting this limitation in personalized settings. This assumption conflates distinct user reward distributions and systematically biases learning toward dominant preferences while suppressing minority signals. To address this, we introduce Personalized GRPO (P-GRPO), a novel alignment framework that decouples advantage estimation from immediate batch statistics. By normalizing advantages against preference-group-specific reward histories rather than the concurrent generation group, P-GRPO preserves the contrastive signal necessary for learning distinct preferences. We evaluate P-GRPO across diverse tasks and find that it consistently achieves faster convergence and higher rewards than standard GRPO, thereby enhancing its ability to recover and align with heterogeneous preference signals. Our results demonstrate that accounting for reward heterogeneity at the optimization level is essential for building models that faithfully align with diverse human preferences without sacrificing general capabilities.

Aligning language models with human preferences often requires optimising multiple behavioural objectives. A practical approach is to apply these objectives sequentially using preference optimisation methods such as Direct Preference Optimisation (DPO), but it remains unclear whether later training uniformly degrades preferences learned earlier or whether the effect depends on the relationship between objectives. We study sequential DPO across four preference settings covering distributional conflict, multi-attribute interaction, strong safety signal, and compatible response-quality objectives. Using Llama-3.1-8B-Instruct with LoRA adapters, we evaluate all objectives after every stage with a fixed base-model reference. We find that sequential DPO does not produce a single forgetting pattern; preference change ranges from partial degradation to stability, pair-level redistribution, or positive transfer depending on objective relationship, signal strength, and training order. Pair-level analysis using length-normalised policy margins shows that aggregate metrics can mask heterogeneous changes across preference pairs, whereas quartile decomposition reveals that high-confidence pairs can either degrade or improve depending on the setting. Mechanistic diagnostics show that Stage~2 gradients and adapter updates are near-orthogonal to the previous objective across all settings, providing little evidence that direct gradient opposition is the primary driver. These findings suggest that future sequential alignment pipelines should account for objective compatibility and signal strength, rather than assuming that later objectives affect earlier preferences uniformly.

DPO has become a widely adopted alternative to RLHF for aligning LLMs with human preferences, eliminating the need for a separate reward model or RL loop. Recent theoretical analysis uncovers an asymmetric gradient behavior in DPO: the loss suppresses dispreferred responses substantially faster than it promotes preferred ones, causing the model to learn to avoid bad answers rather than to generate good ones. We propose AdaDPO, a Self-Adaptive variant of the DPO algorithm that introduces per-preference-pair, stop-gradient-based coefficients derived directly from the policy model's generation probabilities, with the reference model's probabilities as an optional component. AdaDPO is constructed to enforce equality of gradient magnitudes between preferred and dispreferred probabilities; the practical implementation balances per-token gradients and applies a numerical clipping bound for stability, while retaining DPO's original hyperparameter structure. On Llama-3-8B-Instruct trained on UltraFeedback under a SimPO similar setup, AdaDPO consistently outperforms DPO on AlpacaEval 2: it achieves higher length-controlled win rates (LC) in 81% of hyperparameter combinations, attains the global best LC (48.3%) and raw win rate (46.1%), and enlarges the LC-over-WR margin in 88% of combinations, indicating effective mitigation of length bias. Additional analyses on KL divergence, reward margin, and reward accuracy confirm that AdaDPO rectifies the gradient imbalance and yields more efficient optimization. Because it operates purely at the loss level, AdaDPO can be dropped into existing preference-based alignment pipelines without changing data collection or model architectures. The method requires only a few lines of code, and the same self-adaptive principle generalizes to a broad family of pairwise contrastive preference losses including SimPO, R-DPO, IPO, CPO, and ORPO.