What to Forget in Unlearning? Forget Set Curation for Language Models

Large language models increasingly face demands to "forget" training data, knowledge, or behaviors due to regulatory deletion obligations, copyright/licensing disputes, and safety or product-policy requirements. This position paper argues that machine unlearning is overused as a term in LLM research and should be reserved for dataset-defined deletion: removing the training influence of a precisely specified forget set such that the resulting model is approximately indistinguishable from retraining without that data. We contend that many tasks currently labeled "unlearning" (e.g., refusal for harmful requests, entity/knowledge removal, or targeted suppression) pursue different, often policy-dependent objectives and therefore require different terminology and baselines (e.g., alignment, suppression, editing, obfuscation). We further argue that this confusion is not cosmetic: because papers make different implicit guarantees under the same label, metrics and benchmarks are frequently reused outside their intended scope, rewarding surface-level non-disclosure (e.g., low ROUGE/forget accuracy) even when retraining-equivalence is not tested and derived capabilities remain. We conclude by calling for stricter terminology tied to explicit guarantees and reference models, and for evaluations that match the claimed objective.

Machine unlearning for large language models (LLMs) often assumes that a pre-defined forget set matches what the model has memorized, but this frequently breaks in realistic privacy settings where the original training data is inaccessible. We term this gap forget-set misalignment and identify two cases. In Under Unlearning, the forget set omits memorized information and leakage persists. In Out-of-Knowledge Unlearning, the algorithm is driven to "forget" knowledge the model never learned, perturbing parameters and degrading utility. Using gradient-level analysis, we show these behaviors arise from misaligned unlearning targets rather than specific optimization choices. We then propose CONfession-to-Forget-Set (CONFS), a data-blind framework that constructs model-aligned forget sets by eliciting and formalizing the model's memorized knowledge. Across synthetic, multimodal, and real-world benchmarks, CONFS approaches Gold-standard performance on several metrics and achieves a competitive forgetting-utility balance, while preserving utility better than other data-blind forget-set constructions.

Machine learning systems increasingly face the need to remove the influence of entire data domains, such as toxic language, harmful behavior, or topical content, rather than isolated records. Recent work formalizes this problem as distributional unlearning: selecting a subset of a forget domain whose removal moves the training distribution away from an unwanted population while preserving proximity to the desired one. However, existing analyses often impose parametric assumptions to obtain tractable selection rules. These assumptions may be poorly suited to high-dimensional language-model representations. We introduce Mamushi, a framework for non-parametric distributional unlearning that ranks forget examples using a probabilistic classifier whose Bayes-optimal logit equals the forget-to-retain log-density ratio (up to an additive class-prior constant). We show that thresholding the population log-density ratio yields the optimal fixed-budget selection rule for our removal--preservation objective and establish a non-asymptotic transfer guarantee relating score-estimation and threshold-calibration errors to degradation from the population-optimal selection rule. Our empirical evaluation spans real-world datasets on toxic-language removal and topical-domain removal regimes using different representations, with Mamushi achieving a more favorable removal--preservation trade-off than other baselines. Our work shows that Mamushi can serve as an efficient selection approach for downstream machine unlearning procedures, reducing the number of forget examples required to reach a fixed forgetting target.