KV-cache quantization is framed as a quality--latency trade-off. We show it is \emph{inverted} on Apple Silicon's unified memory: a single fused Metal kernel (sign-randomized FFT
+ per-channel
λ + per-group abs-max
+ int4 nibble pack), exposed as a HuggingFace \texttt{Cache} subclass, runs \emph{faster than fp16} across
256--
4096-token prefixes on Gemma-3 1B (
−3 to
−8% ms/tok) and at short context on Qwen2.5-1.5B (
−0.7 to
−2.6% through
1K), with
3× persistent memory compression and quality preserved (
\dPPL=0.000 Qwen short-prompt;
+3.6 hook
\dPPL Gemma). The kernel's
∼25,ns/vec overhead is below the bandwidth savings from
3× compression. The fused kernel also closes Qwen's 4-bit per-token catastrophe (
\dPPL=+7975→+638.6,
12.5× reduction) at
182,GFLOPS /
D=128. Supporting findings:
\SRFT and
\SRHT are statistically indistinguishable for KV quality (we pick
\SRFT for mixed-radix and matrix-multiply alignment); a learned-rotation ablation surfaces a regularization role for the fixed random SRFT base (learning
R+λ without SRFT lowers calibration MSE
84.9% vs
50.3% but yields worse PPL); Householder rotations at
k=d/2 reflectors are effectively lossless at
d=256.